I could sympathise with her and, despite the almost comical way she was coming on to me, I felt just a little sad for her. In the end she, too, was one of the victims of circumstances. I decided to put her off — at least for the moment.I said to her quietly but firmly, "Better wait downstairs. Your aunt doesn't like it a bit if you hang round my door. She tends to screech a lot, in case you hadn't noticed."The girl grinned ferociously at me. She had very white even teeth. She stopped scratching herself and began picking her nose instead absentmindedly. I made a face. She looked at me steadily with eyes as knowing as a much older woman's."Aunt Philo's gone to Port Dickson for the weekend. Won't be back till Sunday, I bet. Fucking her head off with Ollie. That's her boyfriend. Saw them going off in his car. Gave me fifty bucks to buy food for myself." You really got a bad mouth, kid. Talking bad about your aunt and all that. You shouldn't use that F word anyway," I said piously."What F. She had lived with the guilt of her subservience, the guilt of her pride, the guilt of her shame. She reeled under the guilt of being Unseen, the guilt of defying her parents, the guilt of defying the priests. All her life her guilt had covered her like a shroud.Her eyes were drawn back to the slight depression and its bloody, crushed metal contents. She had watched from the mouth of the cavern, the other women circling around her, as the black ri’Dagowyn pounded the blue knight to death. He had fought for her. Certainly, for the others – but for her as well. They were all fighting for her. For themselves, for the other women, but she had been pulled along with them.The child lost in the black’s descent landed atop the already towering pile of her guilt. Doing nothing while watching the blue man’s death landed atop the pile. She was being crushed underneath it, pressed down into nothing by its weight. It clawed at her, carving deep into the flesh of her psyche.Vestra fell to her.
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